But won’t the husband see the charges on the credit card bill? After all, its not like women have economic freedom or anything.
is that what respectable women do for sexual pleasure? Buy erotic novels? I mean, if that’s what you like do you but… I could have sworn porn exists for everyone…
this article is all “omg now that women can read erotic novels its just like when men watch porn, the fabric of the marriage is going to crumble.”
the premise is problematic for various reasons…
The premise noted in the title here isn’t even what’s problematic about the post.
See, she suggests, you should make sure somebody else has access to your ereader account and can see what you read, “for accountability.” Which solves the “without your husband knowing” problem.
Except she also thinks that it’s still wrong to read erotica or otherwise intake porn if your spouse knows about it, because the wrongness is not in the sexual content— it’s in being aroused by anything that isn’t your spouse, and maybe your spouse’s physical presence. Even if you and your spouse are partaking of pornographic material together, under mutual agreement and interest and even excitement, for mutual pleasure, it’s still wrong.
Which, well. I’m all for not keeping secrets from your partner, and doing things to keep the focus of your sexual energy on your partner rather than on proxies seems good. But I feel like a third party informing couples that it’s wrong and sinful for them to do things they find sexy and arousing together (even if those things are kosher in every way except being created by an entity outside the marriage)… I’m having trouble finishing this sentence in a way that encapsulates all of what I mean without becoming ad hominem.
It seems spurious to claim you’re in favor of couples having happy sex lives together and, in the same piece, tell women that their “secret desires” and “concessions to temptation” are sinful and bad and wrong even when they aren’t secret and are shared with one’s lawful, religiously-recognized spouse.
When I read the banner at the top of the blog— “To Love, Honor And Vacuum: When you feel like a maid more than a wife and mother”— I thought the blog might be in favor of wifely independence and agency and still being a person (and not a household fixture) and so forth. You can imagine I was disappointed to find out the blogger felt that a woman should feel like a guilty homewrecker for being interested in sexual media, and should ask her husband not to understand and share with her but to enforce her guilt and deny her exploration.
Also, FWIW, newwavefeminism, porn does exist for everyone, both in the sense that it’s generally not created to exclude and also the sense that something is available for each person’s proclivities, and some people— respectable and otherwise— take erotic writing and novels for their porn of choice. Don’t be hatin’ on folks who aren’t into lurid video. After all, porn was invented millennia before video; if what was good enough for de Sade is good enough for upstanding Christian wives, more power to ‘em.